I have had some lovely American friends who said that the 2017 UK election was like trying to understand the rules of cricket, here goes my attempt at an explanation of what has happened in the last 72 hours.
– The party that was in government and came top in the latest election with their highest number of votes since 1982 and the highest percentage of votes cast since 1983, lost, although it didn’t.
– The party with almost a million fewer votes and almost 10% fewer seats – won, although it too didn’t.
– The party that says it led a ‘fightback’ and received the fewest number of votes it ever received believed it did well enough not to have the leader quit. This despite it coming a very distant fourth and having been in government just two years ago.
– There was still a party campaigning in the election that was running on a Brexit ticket despite Brexit already being voted for.
– A party that believes global warming is a myth, gay people are dirty and that the world was created 10,000 years ago are almost certainly going to have a massive say in UK policy.
– This same party, who was thumped in a regional poll just three months ago by local voters because they blew £500,000,000 of taxpayers money and has no elected representatives on the mainland of the UK, is set to hold the balance of power.
– A party whose elected members have never turned up to Parliament had their number of MPs increase by almost 50%.
– A party that was part of the party that won but lost is seen to have won because they got more than one seat out of 59 Scottish seats for the first time in more than 20 years. Yet the party leader that won but lost didn’t get the credit for this.
– A party that now holds 60% of all seats in Scotland is seen to have lost.
– There were candidates called Lord Buckethead who really did have a bucket head; Mr Fishfinger, who really was dressed as a fishfinger and Elmo from Sesame Street. No one quite understands about Elmo.
– We do have political parties called the Monster Raving Loony Party and the Pirate Party.
– Despite more people voting for a left wing or socialist or left of centre government than ever before and outstripping the number of votes the right wing and right of centre parties received, the UK will now have the most right wing government it has ever had.
See. I told you this UK politics thing was no where near as tricky to understand as cricket.