This week the four horsemen of the apocalypse will knock on your door

Today you will be less happy than you were last week. Next week you will be unhappier than this week. And next month you will be much less content than you were this month. I will bet my mortgage on this – but it begs the question as to why?

It is always the same at this time of year. Gloom starts to set in but you can’t quite put your finger on it. A nagging unsettled feeling that life isn’t quite the same shade of pink it had been for the last few months. People, including you, seem and feel grumpier. Relationships are rockier. Friends moanier. And if you have children then you just thank the maker that ‘take a picture of your child next to the front door’ day is once again upon you and you can load them back onto teachers.

It can feel like the four horsemen of the apocalypse have ridden into your world and decided to take a great big poo on your doorstep. But the four horsemen aren’t death, famine, war and conquest but politicians, media, the weather and society. Allow me to explain.

Firstly politicians. As you may have noticed, almost as soon as the May elections of whatever ilk they are have passed then Parliamentarians, almost every year, dream of Tuscany. OK – so this time around it was delayed by Brexit and Brexitfallout, but the principle is the same. Politicians create or make up news. This news fills our papers. And it is always ‘news’ that is there to scare the willies out of you. When they aren’t there scaring you there is much less scary stuff for papers to write about.

Which leaves us lot who don’t spend three months on holiday with newspapers with no news. Politicians aren’t there creating the latest bullshit scare story to wring out a few more votes and editors and owners too busy sunning themselves to care. So all of a sudden they are filled with ‘Phew-what a scorcher’ headlines or missing children that aren’t missing in the end stories or Pokemon-go or Icebucket challenges or randy pandas or sports. Lots and lots of sport. Olympics, World Cups, Euro football, Tour de France, test matches, Wimbledon, Grand Prixs. Stuff that would barely make the back pages or page 38 now dominate the front pages. And invariably this news is less grim or not grim at all or, perish the thought, even happy.

So it is no coincidence that, the day after the last bank holiday before Christmas and the politicians and the media establishment come back, the world looks and feels a bleaker place. It isn’t and absolutely nothing has changed – its just that those politicians, covil servants and media types believe that you need to feel like that in order that they can show that they are here again and in control. So expect in the coming days and weeks Brexit after Brexit story. House price crash gloom. Murders. Migrant floods. Rows. Wars. Splits. Fights. Anger. Hatred. Bile. Lots and lots of bile. At everyone and everything. It puts you in your place and ensures you stay there.

I get that it is partly human instincts and we all get a bit like it. Last bank holiday until late December, nights are drawing in, dew on the car, the conkers and leaves start to fall, rain lashes down. Everyone at work is in the same boat and equally as grumpy. And no holidays to imagine. What is worse is everyone knows that this is it until the dreadful Christmas office parties start to get in full swing – yet that is months away. So while the world isn’t bleaker it sure as hell feels it.

And then, just as you have adjusted, to really send you into Prozac loving depression, those bozos in power believe that, because of seven Scottish farmers, we should all lose an hour of light at night so that everyone bar these magnificent seven can experience even greater mole like tendencies.

I get that people are influenced by the weather and the dark nights drawing in. But leaders, if they were true leaders, should be counteracting this misery for us all – not exacerbating it. Banish the clocks going back stupidity and create in its place a bank holiday. Have Parliament working during the summer and less in the winter so that any gloomy news can feel less gloomy. Celebrate success, don’t shit on everyone and everything.

Yet they will never do that. It would mean too much thinking and adjusting would have to be done. It would provide greater power to you rather than them – or at least it would feel like they would have less power. And worst of all it would mean that their lives would have to be compromised and sacrifices would have to be made. The establisment will dabble in your existence but they sure as hell won’t inconvenience theirs.

So you need to do it for them. You need to counteract their doom. Try and stave off your anger and your misery. Try a good morning to a stranger. Do a decent deed once a day. Try doing something special for your loved once once a week. I may sounds like some hippie, but you will sound less like all the other a grumpy moaners. And you will banish those four horsemen almost as quickly as they entered your life.


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